Wow! Five years ago I began an incredible adventure with my best friend. July 27th 2009 I got a new name, wife, and the blessing of becoming joined to someone else. No, the marriage ceremony, the vows, or even the communion we shared after the vows did not cause a magical or miraculous change, but they symbolized our commitment to God and each other as we spend the rest of our lives working to become one in Christ. Now, just like this whole mommy thing, I am no expert, nor have I got the whole wife thing down either, but after five years of marital adventure…..here is what I know:
1. Marriage won’t make you happy. Sorry, but If you think that “putting a ring on it” will be a quick fix and turn your frog into prince charming, think again! Girl, marriage is hard!
2. Your spouse will not make you happy. Okay, hopefully he/she will bring you lots of fun, excitement, and love, but they CANNOT be the SOURCE of your happiness. Your true joy must stem from your walk with Christ.
3. You won’t be able to “fix” your husband. Yes, he will throw down his dirty laundry 2.3inches away from the hamper, and it may drive you bananas. BUT…you will always be five minutes late to events because you couldn’t find the (insert accessories, shoes, clothes) for the occasion, and it will baffle him every time! You can try to compromise and improve, but you will not change him/her…..
4. Food always tastes better when you are sharing with a friend! Dieting is hard when you are married, or at least it is for us. We love to indulge (and share)!
5. Bearing someone else’s burden is hard. Often times I find myself telling friends and family members that I will pray for them, or I am sorry for their loss, or etc…but when your spouse is hurting your whole world is turned upside down. The purpose of marriage is to become more Christ-life, and nothing could be closer to that than sharing in heartaches and being with your spouse through stormy seas.
6. COMPROMISE! Does this really need an explanation?
7. Enjoy the moment. Work will be there, and you can sleep when you are dead!
8. SAY YOU ARE SORRY (and mean it!) Okay, so I admit that this is an area in which I often struggle. If you know me, you know I am pretty opinionated and in the heat of an argument my pride often gets the best of me, but learn from my mistakes….
9. Love the flaws. Is my husband perfect? No. I love him BECAUSE of his flaws, not in spite of them. God created him with a plan and a purpose and he is fearfully and wonderfully made.
10. Becoming one takes time. True unity is something that develops over a period of time. It is something that develops through purposeful spiritual growth and devotion towards one another and Christ.
I want to become old and gray with this man. I want many more anniversaries, but most of all I am thankful for the time that I have been given with him.
I love you Waring.